Friday, February 26, 2010


My friendships have always been a big part of my life. I'm not terribly close with my family and so my friends have always filled that void in my life. The biggest and most important events in my life have been made better because of my friends. Sometimes I lose faith that there is such a thing as a true, forever and lifelong friendship. At lot of the people in my life have come and gone and come and gone over the years. There are a few exceptions and I try my best to believe that they will always be in my life, but how can I be sure? How can I be certain that the people I love and cherish are always going to be there for me?

The answer is... I can't.

I have no way of knowing who is going to be in my life tomorrow. Someone I love today could move away and stop calling. (Oh, wait, that happened.) Someone I've known since before I had memories could push me away and hurt me down to my core. (Right, that happened last night.) And no matter how much I try to fight it, I can't stop people from choosing to walk away from me. I can't stop my own life from changing and needing to change the people that are a part of it.

I hate it, but maybe there are no lasting, lifelong friendships. After all, most marriages don't last so why would friendships? Especially in a world where people treat friendships as disposable, temporary relationships. It hurts. I will admit that. It breaks my heart when I lose contact with people and I lose that spark we once shared. There are so many people in my memories. I can still see their smiles and hear their laughter, but they aren't a part of my life any longer. Odds are they wouldn't speak to me if we passed on the street.

Of course... your friendship was supposed to be different, wasn't it? You and I were always supposed to be there for each other. I guess I was wrong about that.


Happy Fat Girl said...

I am very proud to have you as one of my NEW friends! I hope our friendship has many years left to run AND-- you make me giggle on twitter all day

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