Godliness

I don't talk about religion very often. Well. I do. Just not in a public forum like this because I know it's a very touchy subject for a lot of people. But this weekend, I actually went to church. I adore my church. It is the only church I will ever feel at home at. My mother and I started attending about ten years ago after the death of my grandfather. When needed a home and we found a Swedish church only fifteen minutes from our house. It was meant to be.

But I'm getting off track.

I, sometimes, have trouble reconciling my brain with my faith. I have a hard time accepting what I believe when it contradicts with what I know. And I'm sure I'm not the only person who has experienced this. And so instead of going to church every week and trying my best to understand how my faith and intelligence can co-exist, I avoid it all together.

But then, this week, it occurred to me. I don't go to church to try to understand what the church believes. I don't attend services every week to find answers. If I had all of the answers in the world, what would there be to live for? Life is one long lesson. We make mistakes and we have questions. We're never going to figure it all out. And that is what I should have understood about church years ago. I don't walk into that building each week to be provided with the answer. There is no "42" in the Bible. I go to church to be a part of a group of people who all want to live the best lives they can and be good people.

And, luckily for me, I've met some pretty amazing people through church. People who treat me like family and people who feel comfortable enough with me to ask me to be in the bell choir even though they know I'm going to say no. People who I've known since I was 16 and have yet to grow up around. And people who send me cards at Christmas and my birthday, just because we share a pew.

I love that while looking for an answer, I found something bigger.